Horror Typhoon of Deadly Death & Doom Slams Into New Zealand Killing Millions...
TV ANCHORMAN BOB LARGE: This Breaking News just in! The Met Service advises that New Zealand is in the direct path of Typhoon Lusi. This Category 3 typhoon is expected to slam into Northland later...
View ArticleChickens Are Inevitable; So Don’t Squawk
What is it with women and chickens? My Singaporean Missus has wanted chickens for as long as I can remember. So, counting her, that raises the number of “pro-chicken” voters in my household to one....
View ArticleDitka or Die — All Blacks Rugby Comes to Chicago
Ya’ll ready for this? The legendary New Zealand All Blacks take on (hah!) the USA Eagles on Saturday at Soldier Field. We are sure that Mike Ditka is turning over in his grave, whether he is dead or...
View ArticleIt’s What You Do
Of all the things that I cannot believe — starting with how it’s possible to send this blog around the world using electricity — the thing I cannot believe the most is that I will attend my 40th high...
View ArticleA Cold, Naked Man and His Nefa Valve Down Under
Chronically low water pressure and this stupid shower head have been the bane of my existence for 15 years. Things are bad enough during the summer months: I defy you to get all the soap off your body,...
View ArticleR.I.P. Robin Williams. Love & Prayers from New Zealand
I’m not sure why the death of Robin Williams has hit me so hard; why this thing’s weight is so heavy, so suffocating, so oppressive. It may be because initial reports of his death said it was...
View ArticleStinging Dang Red Ants, Fireworks and Guy Fawkes
Yesterday was Guy Fawkes Day, which they celebrate in New Zealand by shooting off fireworks. This makes sense because Guy Fawkes tried to blow up the British Parliament Building with barrels of...
View ArticleScattershooting At The Mall, Wondering Whatever Happened to Grover Scomer,...
How can you talk to young people about ‘Scattershooting’ when they have no idea who Blackie Sherrod was? Now that we have all seen Kim Kardashian’s entire buttooskies, Ebola is just not that scary. Not...
View ArticleWaiting for the Missus
I’m waiting for the Missus, so I thought I might as well do something productive like, oh, I don’t know, read War and Peace, or possibly rebuild Rome. There is NO REASON TO PANIC even though, by my...
View Article‘Man Moments’ Involving Deadly Wooden Shards and Charles Barkley
I’ve have a couple of “Man Moments” lately. You know, the ones that make the Missus roll her eyes way back in her head and think “what is WRONG with that man?” The most recent Man Moment involved...
View ArticleDecking the Halls…
The Baby Jesus won’t make his appearance for another four days in New Zealand. Meanwhile, we have done all the decking of halls that can be done. Unless we get way more halls. This “paparazzi blog”...
View ArticleThe Big Lady With Purple Hair
Yesterday, I was shopping in our version of Walmart when I saw her. The first thing I noticed was her short, purple hair. Then the “circus tent” dress, her 350-pound bulk, and the painfully swollen...
View ArticleJunior Be Cruisin’ De World, Playing Dem Songs
Junior emailed me this morning that he would go ashore in Ecuador and Skype us in the afternoon. Which was great, except that he didn’t say whether this would be HIS afternoon in Ecuador or OUR...
View ArticleValentines Day Flowers are for Kids; True Love is in the Rubbish Bin
Valentines Day means never having to say, “you are SO IRREEEEEETATING.” Or it should. But the Chinese Missus felt the need to say that again the other day, for perhaps the 10,000th time since we’ve...
View ArticleEar Goop and Humpy Crack Puppies
The duty has fallen to me to put medical ear goop into the Crack Puppy’s left ear. This is necessary because she is a Maltese/Shih-Tzu cross. And “Shih-Tzu”, in English, means “making your vet a...
View ArticleA Sad Thing Happened Today in New Zealand
It was crappy, cold, rainy weather. Bumper-to-bumper, rush-hour traffic on Blockhouse Bay Road, my thoroughfare going home. All I could think about was taking some Panadol, and crashing out with a...
View ArticleDo You HEAR Me Dripping Adrenaline?
It’s late. I’m relaxing in the recliner. Reading. Sort of. Zzzzzzzz. Hearing aids are out. Because I do not want to be disturbed. Happy sigh. But then I hear something disturbing. Well, not so much...
View ArticleShaky Dog Love
I guess I need to get used to the seizures. The Crack Puppy would not settle next to my leg last night, as we Facebooked, watched TV and read about Salvation History. Then she raised up her front end...
View ArticleThe Eccentric Titirangi Chicken Woman
I love eccentric people, especially if they have chickens. And don’t live next door. Hence, I love going to the physiotherapist, to have my head rotated and get an update on the Titirangi Chicken...
View ArticleHellooooo Grown Up Musician Son, Let’s Talk Retail
Don’t mind my 26-year-old musician son as he grumpily digs through the mall trash bin. He is not foraging for food, like many starving musicians. He is looking for the plastic packaging that he...
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